It's always something new each spring
Welp, I'm now an American citizen
This is not going to be a long article, but more of a moment in my life I want to document since “milestone” and all. Each spring, it’s something new for me, especially around my birthday. The city's explosion of pink cherry blossoms also adds to the grandeur, signaling significant changes.
Although I was born in Taiwan, I moved to Thailand since eight years old to spend all my childhood through high school years in Bangkok. As I navigate my adolescence, there has always been a lack of belonging or identity that ties me to either Taipei, or Bangkok. I can speak my native tongue of Mandarin, but to Taiwanese people, I’m a 僑生, or the child of an expat. I grew up in Bangkok, Thailand, but spent most of my days speaking English and never really navigating the geography or language of the country.
I finally moved back to Taiwan for university for four years and tried hard to be Taiwanese to assimilate into the environment. However, post-graduation, I spontaneously threw myself back into the outskirts of Bangkok for my first job, and I’m back to speaking English with a ridiculous Chinese-English-Thai accent. My passport carried evidence of me riding an airplane every single year of my life…I’ve always felt like a nomad, ready to go wherever the wind takes me.
In 2015, the wind took me to the United States, a place that my international high school teachers had promoted and recommended. I’ve always thought, hey, it’s another thing to tick off on my bucket list. Just like any other Asian kid, we’ve only known the U.S. from movies and literature. Boston, Massachusetts was as romantic as guaranteed, but also has its grungy and inconvenient reality once I settled in for two years. What took me to Seattle, I wasn’t super sure (and it sure isn’t because of a romance novel I read featuring hockey players…) but I arrived in 2017 with a concept of a plan (haha, too soon?) to get a job, or enjoy the last circuit of the West Coast before heading home. Wherever home means, anyway.
Long story short, I began the journey of immigration through a job, eventually through marriage, and today, I headed to a USCIS field office at 9:00 AM to take the final interview to become a citizen. It’s been almost 10 years, and I’m trudging towards the light at the end of the tunnel. The rain battered down at me as I briskly walked up the hill from the parking lot, shielding my documents from being wet — it felt like the final physical and mental test.
While the anthem was playing as we stood for the Oath Ceremony, I had expected the feeling of relief or exhilaration, like what others around me were celebrating. However, I was mostly tired. Unlike in video games, when a player levels up and gains wings or grows superpowers, the new layer of identity bestowed upon me only made me feel like I want to 躺平 (or lie flat on the ground). It’s exhausting to go through life feeling like you’re always a stranger in the country.
It’s even more ironic that this new country, to which I swore my allegiance, is turning into a form of environment that is becoming more and more unfriendly to strangers. At the same time, this has been the place that allows me to be unapologetically nerdy about stationery, not conform to societal norms, and allows me to speak my mind. I remember a moment in 2018 when I was driving through the streets of Seattle, doubting whether this place could ever feel like home. Today, I’m strongly bonded to the food, the culture, and the beautiful landscapes of Seattle. Grand scheme of depressing political scene aside, I do feel like I can finally be at home.
After I got home, I quickly grabbed my camera and took the car out to capture the cherry blossoms around town before the forecasted thunderstorm. I’d been out of town for the last five days, and I knew that cherry blossoms are blooming now. I can’t wait to experience the peak cherry blossom blooms expected this weekend.
Anyway, the work and responsibility as a U.S. citizen start tomorrow! I’ll be back with a Chicago Stationery Fest recap soon, I promise!
Welcome home. We’re a better place because of you.
Congratulations💕. This is not the United States we are currently proud of, so I hope you will help us be better. We definitely welcome and appreciate you. And thank you for posting the cherry blossoms. They are a reminder to me of the great beauty here.